I want to make a zoo with you.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Everyone says I win the strip club
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