I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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