But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
