when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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