How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
