dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
