true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
