420 ftw
Welp...herpes.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize