Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
