Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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