There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
