Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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