Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
