She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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