What did we do last night that was yellow?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
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