Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
