More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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