Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
