Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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