I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
