i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
