So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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