idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
