Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he shaved USA in his pubs
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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