Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
