I just made out with a guy for $7.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
