Sponge bath it is.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
