Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
