it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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