I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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