the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
