I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
