Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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