he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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