I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
