In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You smell like stripper and shame
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
