I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
did i walk over a car last night?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
