Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
