Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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