Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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