Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
