whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
