some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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