wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
