Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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