i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
