Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
