I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
