Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
