I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
