Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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