take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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