i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Someone signed my nipple.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
