im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
