They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
