fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
