Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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