my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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