do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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